Codependency Treatment

Because codependent relationships often appear to be healthy and happy, they can be hard to detect, especially for the people involved in them.

However, codependent relationships typically include two major roles: the “caretaker” and the “taker.” If there is a clearly identifiable “caretaker” and a “taker” in the relationship, it is likely a codependent relationship.

In a codependent relationship, the “caretaker” is the individual who sacrifices for the other individual. Caretakers may give up their needs, their goals, and even their own happiness and mental health in favor of those of the “taker.”

The “taker” is the individual who takes from and feels a need to control the other person.

Caretakers will often do anything for and tolerate anything from the taker. In turn, takers often feel they can do anything to the caretaker without risking them leaving.

Signs You Are the “Caretaker”

These are the potential signs that you could be the “taker” in a codependent relationship:

• Excessive sacrifice: You consistently prioritize the needs, goals, happiness, and health of your loved one over your own to the extent that it impacts you negatively and reduces the quality of your life.
• Control issues: You find yourself continuously attempting to manage and control every aspect of your loved one’s life because you believe your actions are necessary for their happiness, success, or well-being.
• Lack of boundaries: You do not set or maintain healthy boundaries with your loved one, allowing them to “walk all over you,” and you have difficulty saying no or asserting your own needs.
• Emotional roller coaster: You experience extreme emotional highs and lows based on how your loved one is feeling because your identity is so interconnected with theirs.
• Low self-esteem: One of the most common traits that caretakers share is a lack of self-esteem. For example, the commonly held belief that the caretaker could not “do better” than the taker or that they do not deserve a more mutually beneficial relationship.

Signs You Are the “Taker”

Caretakers will often do anything for and tolerate anything from the taker. In turn, takers often feel they can do anything to the caretaker without risking them leaving.

• Dependency: You are heavily reliant on your loved one to fulfill your needs, especially your emotional needs. As a result, you are constantly seeking their approval because you need it for your own validation and self-esteem.
• Manipulative behavior: You want to ensure that your loved one continues to focus on you and your needs, so you employ a variety of manipulation tactics, such as making them feel guilty for not paying attention to you.
• Avoidance of responsibility: You routinely blame your loved one for your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors to avoid taking responsibility for your own actions.
• Lack of autonomy: You find it difficult to make decisions for yourself or to take any independent action because your sense of self has become so intertwined with your loved one that you have lost a sense of your own unique and distinct identity.
• Low self-esteem: Takers frequently suffer from low self-esteem, and their self-esteem is often lowered as a result of their relationship because they are not achieving anything on their own and may feel as if they need their partner to function.